Sunshine and the Blues

I can’t believe the milestones we hit yesterday. Thanks to all of you, Lemons and Spoons has reached over 530 people and hit a new record of 177 readers in a single day. I am awestruck and overwhelmed, but above anything else, I am grateful to anyone taking the time to visit, to read, and especially to follow me on this journey. I have no idea what I’m doing, but you’re trusting me to drive the bus anyways. That takes guts, you guys. Seriously, I’m impressed.

With all this happy going on and these great things to celebrate, my anxiety was put off a little. I was so pleasantly distracted by the nervous excitement of finally feeling like I found what I’m supposed to be doing, watching stats climb, I forgot to be scared.

Nikki and I will be leaving with the dawn tomorrow morning to go to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio for a three day stay. There, I will meet a new doctor who will be reviewing my conditions. There is chatter across many EDS forums about a change coming in how they diagnose and categorize EDS. I don’t know how that will impact me. I will learn more about the dysautonomic conditions and how to better manage everything that is trying to kill me.

It’s hard to describe the feeling, but I know a lot of Lemons and Spoonies will understand. On the one hand, it’s so important to stay positive and optimistic. The mind is a powerful thing and sometimes, it all comes down to how you choose to handle things. On the other hand, however, I don’t want to walk in expecting all sunshine, flowers, and rainbows. There’s not going to be some dramatic moment where the doctor looks at me, runs some amazing new test and says “you’re cured! Be on your merry way!”. At least, if that does happen, I’m going to be extremely skeptical and seek a second opinion.

What I can expect, though, is answers, which is more than I’ve had for quite a while. There’s only so long you can go without them and it will be nice to have someone who has made their career studying cases like mine. I know that he will have more insight into how best to handle my symptoms and how to manage everything in the long run.

Getting home on Saturday will mean a flurry of friends and family all wanting updates. I’ll be doing my best to keep everyone updated as I learn things, both on here and for those directly in my support network.

Wish me luck, Lemons and Spoonies! A grand adventure awaits!



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