My to-do list features the item “don’t panic” no less than twice for the next two weeks as I head into some major life changes. Some, like tackling writing a book and making personal changes for my well-being, I’ve discussed on here. Some I’m waiting until things feel more real to share on here. All of them, however, have me reeling between being so incredibly excited I could burst and so incredibly nervous I could faint.
I don’t need help fainting, you guys. I do it really well and pretty often as it is.
For the first time in years, I’ve had what felt like a legitimate reason to tell someone “no, I’m sorry, I’m going to be busy” when they extended an offer for social plans. They were left in such a state of disbelief at the nature of my refusal that they asked Nikki if everything was okay and why I was going to be too busy to join a DnD group next month.
It’s okay if you laughed at that. Pam, Nikki, and I did.
Monday, I meet with one of the writers of an amazing book titled The Year of Small Things to go over my own book. Tuesday, I meet with another member of my church to talk about some of the choices I’m making for my future and trying desperately to quell the anxiety surrounding them.
At the moment, I feel like I’ve rushed for the opportunity to sit around and wait. It’s not a feeling I do well with because waiting means I have time to start doubting myself. The Impostor has time to make stronger and stronger arguments against whatever it is I’m waiting for until I either give up or I can move forward again.
This time, though, I just can’t quit. I’m very excited to share all the news with you in the next couple of weeks. Until then, you’ll just have to sit and anxiously wait right along with me.